


Metal Gear Steven V: The Phantom Gem

by TheNotoriousHIV



Category: Metal Gear, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: But what do I even add then, F/F, F/M, I don't know why I'm bothering uploading this, I need to write an actual fic soon, It's just shitty jokes, Maybe I'll continue it when I get bored?, i dunno, that's literally all there is to this, wake me up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 02:52:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7783927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNotoriousHIV/pseuds/TheNotoriousHIV
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something I made for /sug/ in 10 minutes sometime around Phantom Pain's release? There is literally no effort put into this, it's just a really complex shitpost. But, since I found it, here it is for your viewing displeasure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Metal Gear Steven V: The Phantom Gem

**Author's Note:**

  * For [/sug/](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=%2Fsug%2F).



* * *

  
**Rose Quartz: A Fallen Legend.**

Forced to kill her mentors Blue Diamond and White Diamond, and now ostracized by her home planet save for a few fellow rebels for heading to Earth. She was once the most praised member of the Great Diamond Authority, but she has found a much greater value in human beings, and now lives to protect the planet, her friends, and her lover, Greg Universe.

* * *

She stares out at the beach of...well, Beach City, a cigar stuck in her mouth. Her objective is to make sure that Earth's army fights back a Homeworld attack. While she is considered the ultimate gem soldier, she knows that any day she can be slaughtered and shattered. With the thing she's done, she awaits that day with acceptance, but now is not the time to die.

She hears footsteps in the stand and instinctively turns around to use her CQC to disable the possible intruder.

Unfortunately, she's just punched once of her closest friends multiple times, and said friend is now lying in the sand face down.

"Oh, Pearl, that was you!" Rose laughed. "I'm sorry. Kind of used to sneak attacks, you know?"

Pearl struggled to get up. "N-no, it's fine...thanks for that, Rose." She weakly saluted and smiled as a bruise formed on her face. Her (incredibly long) nose was visibly bent.

Rose held Pearl in a hug, and her healing power cured the aforementioned bruises quickly. Pearl couldn't help but take comfort in the undying love of her leader, and placed her head in her rocking boobs.

"Um, Pearl? You're healed now."

Well, so much for that. Pearl exited the warmth of the hug and Rose's mammaries.

* * *

**Pearl: A Thirsty Gem Robbed of her Girlfriend.**

She's dedicated so much to Rose Quartz, and won't ever stop doing as such. Despite the fact that she's perished many times in battle, she keeps on reforming, ready to march on, all for Rose.

But that's changed. Rose took someone else.

A human.

Why did she take that human?!

* * *

An awkward silence.

"Soooo, I was going to ask if you're ready..."

Rose went back to a sour demeanor.

"I know you don't like to fight, but remember, it's our only option, and we're ready to battle by your command."

Rose removed the cigar from her mouth. "It's just...I wish it didn't have to be like this."

Pearl nodded solemnly.

"Rose, do you ever wonder why we're still here?"

"On Earth, you mean?"

"No...in general. Why do we exist?"

Rose turned back to Pearl. "We've had this conversation before. That's up for you to decide, Pearl."

"I...I know...but...sometimes I feel like the Crystal Gems were formed just so that we could suffer."

Rose showed concern in her face and voice. "Pearl, you know I'd never want any of us to get hurt!"

A pause.

"Every night, I can feel my leg...and my arm...and even my fingers!"

Another pause.

Rose blankly stared. "Well, yes, Pearl, we all do that."

"No, I mean...it's just that I've gone through so many forms through fighting. The bodies I used to inhibit...and thinking about the gems that fought alongside us that we lost...it doesn't stop hurting. It's like...they're all still there!"

Tears formed in Pearl's eyes.

"Don't you feel it, too?"

Rose nodded. "I do, I do."

"I'm going to make Yellow Diamond give back our past. She sent us to Hell...but we're going even deeper! We'll take back everything we've lost!"

"Pearl..."

Rose walked towards Pearl, and put her hand on her shoulder, looking her deep in the eyes.

"I'm already a demon."

Pearl's eyes widened at Rose's statement.

But, a smile grew on Rose Quartz's face.

"Homeworld's not my kind of place, anyway."

**METAL GEAR STEVEN V:**

**THE PHANTOM GEM**

**A REBECCA SUGAR CARTOON**

Loud metal chords began to play. Pearl stumbled onto the ground as Rose turned to see what the noise was and immediately tackled the source, choking it and ending the noise with a screech.

"R-Rose...s-stop choking me...humans h-have to BREATHE..."

It was Greg Universe.

Her lover.

* * *

Greg Universe: A Human who's really into Giant Women

...that's pretty much it.

* * *

 

"Oh, Greg! I'm sorry."

Rose healed the bruises on Greg's neck.

Greg began to breathe normally, coughing a bit. "Man, I knew you were strong, but sheesh!"

He leaned in and whispered in Rose's ear.

"Save the choking for the bedroom, huh?"

Rose giggled.

"Wait, what was that? Did you say bedroom?!" Pearl exclaimed, shocked.

Greg began to sweat profusely. "Uh, no...I said...'mushroom'."

"Ah."

Pearl assumed a calm expression.

"Well, let's get going to the chopper!"

**Author's Note:**

> That's...that's literally it. I didn't write anything else.
> 
> WHY THE FUCK DID I UPLOAD THIS


End file.
